You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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