I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
