What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
