my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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