Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
