we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
