we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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