Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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