So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
