I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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