things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
