I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
