A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
