im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
