Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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