Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
