Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
