Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
