I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
