i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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