New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
