who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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