This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
