You really coming over, don't trick.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
