What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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