She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
