K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
