Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
