If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
