I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
