sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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