you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
