hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She bit a glass in half.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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