We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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