omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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