If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
