How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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