brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
actually, I'm a sock model
barbara walters just said penis...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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