Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
