worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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