I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
