it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
