Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
