dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
