Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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