I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
