Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
