Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
be right there i have to get my cape
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
