I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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