Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
