I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
