the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
