weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
