I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
