as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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