She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
