i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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